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Lets now contrast the experience I am seeking with the experience of someone looking to jam games at Mid Power on the PlayEDH Discord server

It doesn't copy whether that permanent is tapped or untapped, whether it has any counters on it or Auras and Equipment attached to it, or any non-copy effects that have changed its power, toughness, types, color, and so on

While getting a Lightning Greaves is nice, many players will already have a copy and Everlasting Torment is a fringe card at best

Some examples would be Siren's Ruse, Cloudshift, and Displace

Bitter Reunion will discard one, draw two on arrival to the battlefield, and then you can sac it for one mana to give your stuff haste for the turn, so you can trigger descend twice over two turns here

A three-drop that attacks, blocks, enables combos, and is a bad removal target