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Some players cast a big creature for free while others put a miser land into play

Second chapter makes a token that gets +1+1 for each artifact you control

Two-mana cycling uses your entire second turn, which puts you significantly behind in a Constructed match

But honestly, the thing I most want to do with this is to sacrifice a Hamster so that I can draw X cards, because we all want to draw cards in Magic, right

Zombies also tend to die well

The middle triggered ability considers any turn and any player, so that burn player dealing out chunks of damage, or the black player that paid life to cast a spell, and that Colossal Dreadmaw that trampled over a 2/2