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Blighted Agent has only one of those problems, and is easily the best option to start infecting players if your end game is to Proliferate up to 10

That said, even in Narci cant beat out the best, shes bound to see play in a lot more decks

The old history books seem to agree with you, but not when it comes to MTG players

In terms of budget, you can technically play Forgetful Fish for $0 if you can find an opponent who owns a copy of the shared deck

It has to be a token like Voja from Tolsimir or a card that used to be a pet like the recent Voja card from Murders

You can play him for only three ink, and yet he gains one resist and one lore for every Location in play